If you in need of some hope- consider this…
Our brain maintains a level of plasticity. What that means is, we have the ability to reorganize and form new neural connections. So yes, you can retrain your brain with sensations that are positive and nourishing.
Habits are formed by repetition, whether that is physically, physiologically or mentally. It creates what is called, a neural pathway in your brain. By practicing and reinforcing new skills over time, they will literally stick in your brain’s new neural pathways.
So give yourself some time to help your brain create those neural connections for self compassion, vulnerability, trust, openness, boundaries, standards, assertiveness and any other qualities you desire to embody.